Jimbo – @JimboStudios

Cavemen spotted in Barnsley every Friday night

The invention of the TV – seems good but when you think about it, it actually exposes everyone to places like Essex

Henry VIII – had 6 wives, who shouldn’t have said to him “I’ve had it up to the neck with you”

Nazi Germany – ruled by the most hated man ever, no not Justin Bieber

BC – this means events that occurred before Jesus Christ like shutting your finger in a car door or stubbing your toe

Invention of the Wheel – this was a wheely good idea

Ancient Egypt – used to mummify the dead which preserved them, which might explain Bruce Forsyth

Christopher Columbus – sailed and discovered America, and everyone thinks the Costa Concordia captain was bad!

The French Revolution – was a bad day for the French, I think it’s when they realised they were actually French

Admiral Nelson – was a famous navy officer whose boat insurance was very cheap

Live Aid – a rock concert which helped raise money to fight poverty in Africa…and Bonos face lift

The Gunpowder Plot - This guy really fawked it up

Battle of Waterloo – was when Abba were so popular that people were fighting over copies of their single in HMV

Stoneage – when hairy men communicated through grunting, this age reoccurs every Saturday night in Barnsley at 1am

Charles Darwin – came up worth the theory of evolution when he discovered Piers Morgan had evolved from a rat

Gunpowder Plot – was when a bloke called Guy tried to blow up Parliament, it didn’t work, he fawked it up

When Women Won the Vote – without this event there’s no way One Direction would have got that far in X-Factor

Florence Nightingale – before she was a a nurse she was a vet, she was glad when the dog days were over

Fisher (@CFishTank)

Allegations against him were blown out of proportion...and so was he

The Moon Landings: is when Neil Armstrong took one giant leap – that said, he was assisted by the zero gravity

The Fall of the Berlin Wall: David Hasslehoff was present, but unfortunately he wasn’t underneath it at the time

The Independence of America: was formally declared in 1996 by Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum

9/11: equals 0.8181818

Election of George Bush: happened in 1988 – he was a bad president, the USA vowed never to make that mistake again

English Civil War: was one the politest wars ever – I think that’s what a civil war is

The Polish Uprising: this started in 1863 and was led by an army general named Mr Sheen

Lord Nelson: was a great UK military leader. During his tenure, the UK only had 1 army

The Bore War: involved the British Empire fighting against some wild pigs… and John Major

The Easter Rising: was when Jesus came back from the dead in Ireland in 1916

Waterloo - ABBA's new single was a lot to fight over

The Battle of Stanford Bridge: took place in 1066 before the Battle of Hastings – 3 Chelsea players were red carded

The assassination of JFK: happened when Lee Harvey Owsald shot an airport

The Cuban Missile Crisis: involved Fidel Castro and Che Guevara getting lost in a supermarket

The Monica Lewinsky Scandal: her affair with Bill Clinton was blown out of proportion – and so was he…

Six day war: was only meant to last 1 day – but Royal Mail delivered the letter declaring a ceasefire

The invention of sliced bread: this happened in 1928 – it was described as being the best thing ever

and a couple from a #TweetsNowtOnTV follower @AlistairHGVCC

Columbus: public transport in South America

Charles Darwin: has a theory of evolution which is questioned because of Wayne Rooney

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter for more #TweetsNowtOnTV every Sunday night at 10.15pm

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

Shell Suit - Hold them to your ear you can here Jeremy Kyle

Fingerless Gloves – are ideal for horses and other animals with hooves

Pair of Boxers – these cover two male arse cheeks – David Haye & Derek Chisora

Checked Shirt – a shirt that has had a successful CRB

Wonderbra – I know a lady who had a faulty one of these which pushed her boobs up to far. It went tits up

Ankle socks – socks for your ankles, similar to socks which are also socks for your ankles

Cap – is what Emile Heskey won’t get anymore of

Belt – is what Chris Brown once gave Rihanna

Polo Shirt – shirts with a big hole in that smell like mint

Slippers – are named slippers because its what you usually trip over in the house

Waistcoat – is what someone might say if you threw away a perfectly good coat

Tie – I once met a girl in a shop that sold ties. I asked her to marry me. I wanted her to be my Tie Bride

Bowler Hat – is what Darren Gough wears

Shell Suit – are normally washed up on the beach if you put them to your ear you can hear an episode of Jeremy Kyle

Boiler suit – overall they are pretty good value

Boob Tube – a website where you don’t compare meerkats or car insurance

Tights – My girlfriend always gets ladders in her tights, I’ve told her il clean the windows in future

Pencil Skirt – not sure what I think of these, they are a little sketchy

Fisher - @CFishTank

a camouflage jacket, you might not be able to see it

Gillet: these keep your body warm… and they also remove your body hair

3/4 length trousers: I bought some of these fairly cheaply the other day – they had 25% off

Feather Boa: it might be scary having a snake around your neck – but it’s as soft as a brush…

Cuban Heels: are made out of cigars

Jumper: I used to have one with 3 arms that I wore when I did athletics – I called it a triple jumper

Loafers: are quite fancy shoes, they involve wearing bread on your feet

Hoodies: David Cameron once encouraged people to hug a hoodie… then he went back to his mansion in Surrey

Pullover: last time I wore one of these I tried to take it off whist driving – it was dangerous, I should have

Camouflage jacket: a friend wore this recently and everyone thought it looked good – but personally I couldn’t see it

Crop top: often worn by women – but they often disappear around harvest time

Clothes airer: a male celebrity was once involved in a sex scandal with one of these – the press hung him out to dry

Burka: I was going to say something controversial about these – but I’ll draw a veil over it

French knickers: women have to pull these down when they go for a oui

Baseball cap: quite how something circular remains on someone’s head is beyond me

Shorts: I wear these whilst drinking whiskey and brandy

and some from our #TweetsNowtOnTV followers

Boat Shoes?

Jeans - make up part of your DNA – @AlistairHGVCC

Boat shoes - are great for walking on water – @Jo_Miller70

Wastecoat - No, not a poor spelling mistake. It’s what the binmen wear. – @TJHeezy

Golf socks - I have a special pair of golf socks. There’s a hole in one – @BernieWinters

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter and join us every Sunday evening from 10.15pm for more #TweetsNowtOnTV

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

Jamie Oliver - hated by school kids everywhere

Maths - I was excellent at this subject but got a poor exam result, Don’t know why…..it just doesn’t add up

Drama - I hated this lesson as a kid, caused the teacher some problems I always used to act up in front of my mates

Aesop’s Fables - told in assemblies explained how Rhinos got their skin etc but never how Katie Price got her tits

Exercise Book - I had enough work to do at school without having to chase my overly active book around school

Harvest Festival - is when I would go around delivering rude shaped fruit to needy old people

Compass - drawing circles never helped me find out which way was north

Sex Education - I was scared of going to this lesson and wasn’t sure about going, I went but came out straight away

Eraser - I remember once saying to my mate Johny “Have you got a rubber Johny?” not sure why everyone laughed at me

School Dinners - fortunately I went to school before Jamie Oliver changed the school menu to Muesli

Naughty Chair - if you were lucky you would get sent to sit on this chair which had a pile of dirty magazines on it.

Lollypop lady - this skinny lady hated me trying to lick her sticky head

Rural Studies - I once got into a fight during this lesson, the teacher told us to take it inside

Careers Library - I never visited this place. I didn’t want to work as a librarian

Science - I used to fancy a girl two classrooms down from my biology classroom, there was chemistry between us

Woodwork - I convinced my mate we could make a chair from one piece of wood. I said it would work

Religious Studies - I tried my best at this subject but if I’m honest, I didn’t have a prayer

Deputy head- at my school the head teacher and deputy were shot with a pellet gun. I shot the head but not the deputy

Fisher – @CFishTank

Bruce Forsyth - an old fossil studied in Geology

Woodwork: hitting this would constitute a good shot for Emile Heskey

Art: I refuse to be drawn as to whether I was any good at this subject…

The School Bus: was a bit like The School Bike – but she was a lot fatter…

Whiteboard: John Terry was said to be delighted when this was used in the classroom instead of the blackboard

Drama: I was pretty good at this – but I didn’t make a song and dance about it

Teachers: is a Scottish whiskey company, they distil whiskey between 9 and 3 every weekday

Geology: you study old fossils in this, like volcanic rock… and Bruce Forsyth

Geometry: I never listened during this, I’d sit around and eat – normally I’d have 3.14 pies

ICT: is what you say when you spot that bloke from The A Team

The register: teachers take this… and a few of them end up on it…

Assembly: I was a notorious non-attender to these – I could never make them

Metalwork: this ended up being one of Abu Hamza’s favourite subjects, bit of ‘armless fun there

Dentention for drugs and given more lines!

PE: I forgot my kit and had to do it in my vest and pants – I was then sacked from my job as a teacher

Detention: a lad at my school was given this after being caught taking cocaine – they gave him 100 lines

Textiles: some people use proper English and sum ppl use txt spk. lol

French: I hated this subject – it was all foreign to me

And from some of our #TweetsNowtOnTV followers

@AlistairHGVCC

Food Technology - this was the icing on the cake me…

Geography - could never find my classroom for this!

@GeorgieLax20

Chemistry - I used to fancy a lad a shared a Bunsen burner with..but now they’re just an old flame

History - Would tell you what I used to learn but it’s all in the past now

@Jo_Miller70

French - My spelling in French wasn’t very good, in fact, my teacher kept saying it was merder

@TJHeezy

School Dinners - These are bad just ask jamie Oliver

@JonoWilmshurst

Having a Rubber on the end of your pencil – handy instrument or life lesson?

Don’t forget to follow us on twitter and join us every Sunday evening from 10.15pm for more #TweetsNowtOnTV

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

Rubbish Security, they keep letting the PM out

College - a building made of bits of felt, card, paper all stuck down with glue

Emirates stadium - Arsene Wenger got lost before his first game there, he drove past and claimed he didn’t see it

Taj Mahal - one of the wonders of the world, not sure why I think their curries are pretty average and over priced

Post Office - I was going to tweet about this building but the Royal Mail lost my tweet in the post

Museum - where loads of old fossils are kept, not to be confused with an old people’s home

Old Peoples Home - where old fossils are kept, not to be confused with a museum

8 Downing Street - have the worst neighbours ever

10 Downing Street - heavily guarded by security but they can’t be very good because they keep letting the twat out

Playboy Mansion - I know the butler who works there, he is quiet and has no personality, a bit stiff

Royal Albert Hall – I prefer a similar building with a big metal ring through the roof, the Prince Albert Hall

Sorting Office - is where your post goes to be sorted so that it can be lost by the correct postman

Fletchers Bakery - wanted to expand but after it burnt down those plans were toast

Art Gallery - need more government funding in my opinion, a lot of them need a lick of paint

Brewery - I once tried to arrange a piss up in there but It didn’t go to plan after I missed a penalty in a brothel

Fisher – @CFishTank

The Gladiators, hosted by Ulrika Johnson?

The Colosseum: is where gladiators used to flight in Rome – these events were refereed by John Anderson

The White House: this is one of Luis Suarez’s favourite buildings

The O2 Arena: this is a great concert venue – and there’s plenty of oxygen for people with breathing difficulties

The Natural History Museum: this is a great place to go, but it’s a shame the all the visitors are naked

Tower Bridge: I’ve been here, and to London Bridge, but not the Millennium Bridge – that was a bridge too far…

Windsor Castle: was the brother of Roy Castle… I hope that joke about Windsor tied you in knots..

Henley Rowing Club: Steve Redgrave and Matthew Pinsent often go here to have an argument

Libraries: under the current Government’s plans, a lot of these are going to sssssssssshhhhhhhhhut

The Ritz: this is a really posh hotel in London – they leave you a cheesy biscuit on your pillow at night

The Roundhouse: it’s a music venue in Camden – Chuck Norris opened it by breaking the red tape with a trademark kick

Harrods: you had to be really good to work here under its old owner – if not, you’d be Al-Fayed…

Police Station: I went here once and turned their clocks forward an hour – I was arrested for wasting police time

The FA’s Headquarters: are based in Soho, a scandal ridden place with seedy undertones… and it’s based in Soho

Battersea Dogs Home: is where Harry Redknapp’s dog lives after Redknapp stole all his money

And some from some more #TweetsNowtOnTV followers

@TJHeezy

Big Ben - A man with a rather large Clock

@NoisyKeeper

Leaning Tower of Pisa - Dodgy stacked Domino’s boxes

Pyramids - Took their shape from PG Tips tea bags

@Jo_Miller70

House - very popular with the old ladies and clubbers

Don’t forget to follow us on twitter and join us every Sunday night from 10.15pm for #TweetsNowtOnTV

Jimbo (@JimboStudios)

Spaghetti Junction

Mersey Ferry – most people are disappointed when they get off this boat to realise they are still near Liverpool

Spaghetti Junction – would be easier to navigate around if the signs wern’t made out of spaghetti letters

Jet Ski – a huge hosepipe that fires out yoghurt

Cable Car – are now available in HD and you can pause them at any time during a journey

Dual Carriage Way – is a good place to go and fight after slapping someone with a glove

Petrol Tanker – do they ever fill up for petrol?

Dashboard – Not quite as good as the forward slash board I have in my car

St Pancras – always eat in this train station, it’s easy to digest food in there

Subway – I waited around in there for ages without anything turning up apart from a large sandwich

Mercedes Benz – Janis Joplin once asked God for one, god knows if she actually ever got one

Dipstick – found under the bonnet of a car and behind the wheel of a skoda

4×4 – this car should have been called 16 but they couldn’t work out the answer

Bendy Bus – regular passengers include George Michael, Will Young and Elton John

Ford Fiesta – I had the other model of this car that wouldn’t start in the afternoon, it was called a Ford Siesta

Supertram – is really an average tram but when there’s trouble it gets in a phone box and changes into Supertram

Fisher – @CFishTank

Bendy Bus - Good at gymnastics

The A3: this road runs from London to Portsmouth – and it’s twice as big as the A4…

Audi: is the favoured make of car for most cowboys

VW Golf: I once drove one of these and I suffered a really bad puncture – my tyre had 18 holes in it…

Bendy Buses: these are great at gymnastics

Euston Station: me and my friend once had a few difficulties whilst there, we said, “Euston, we have a problem”

Ford Galaxy: this car is quite simply out of this world

Rover: was a car company that went bust – at which point they removed the R from the front of its name…

The Bakerloo Line: this was drawn by a breadmaker who took a pencil and ruler to the toilet with him

Unicycle: involves missing lectures, eating pot noodles and drinking excessive amounts every day

Proton: this is a sub-atomic particle and the name of a car company – I’m positive about that

The Circle Tube Line: you end up back where you started – so it’s a bit like the Coalition Government’s policies

Train Station Toilets: they charge you 30p to use them nowadays – talk about taking the piss

Luton Airport: is what a baggage handler often does…

And some from the #TweetsNowtOnTV crowd

jo_miller70

Smart Car but stupid to buy one

Airport – a fortified wine that you can breathe

Bicycle - Couldn’t decide if it likes men or women so it likes both to ride it

@AlistairHGVCC

Aeroplane: full of bubbles

Smart car: you’d have to be stupid to buy one

Rear View Mirror: a reflective piece of glass that allows you to take a peek at someone’s bum

And finally a newbie – @TJHeezy

Bus Conductor – Man who conducts orchestra’s on public transport

Thanks and don’t forget to follow us and check back on Sunday nights at 10.15 pm for more #TweetsNowtOnTV

@JimboStudios

Pot Noodle - do not smoke

Orange - this is the only food that is rubbish at writing poems due to its poor rhyming abilities

Mint - I once got carried away and ate too many mints so I ate an onion to freshen up

Ice cream - is what I do when I’m on a roller coaster or when someone makes me jump

Spaghetti – Easy to cook but I bet my mom could still burn it, I wouldn’t put it past-her

Pot Noodles – how do you even smoke them?

Rice Crispies – when you add milk they go snap, crackle and pop, when you add dynamite they are a little louder

Cheese – I was going to make a joke about Anthony Worrall Thompson but it wouldn’t be very mature

BBQ Ribs – one positive to come from my great uncles funeral at the crematorium

Carrot – apparently help you see in the dark, also they don’t need battery’s like torches

Apple – an apple a day keeps the doctor away, Harold Shipman obviously was immune to apples

Full English – is the only thing John Terry will eat

@CFishTank

Meatballs - the dogs bollocks

Wholemeal bread: you’d have to eat quite a lot of it to make it into a whole meal

Gateau: I’d like to have more of these – but I suppose I can’t have my cake and eat it

Peanut butter: if you do this, you should probably visit your doctor

Apple Sauce: was the name of the staff magazine which detailed all the juicey gossip in Steve Jobs’ organisation

Lamb: I ate some of this with a lovely sauce the other day – it was mint

Pizza: I knew a takeaway that sold these, but they closed after suffering cashflow problems – they ran out of dough.

Beef sirloin: I store this right at the top of my fridge – the steaks are high

Meat: Lady Gaga once wore a dress made of this, it didn’t leave much to the imagination – you could see her sausage

Meatballs: I ate these in a Korean restaurant a few months ago – they were the dog’s bollocks

Cherry Bakewell: is what Tony Blair says to his wife when he wants her to cook something nice

And a few picks from some #TweetsNowtOnTV newbies

@georgielax20

Baked well!

Munchies - I get these so I go and buy a pack

Cherry bakewells - whoever’s made them have baked them very well

Icing - got to be careful when eating this it can be a bit slippy

@alistairhgvcc

Bakewell Tart: a promiscuous lady from the outskirts of Derbyshire

Coconut: hairy brown nuts, cue innuendo

Caramac: a very sugary computer

@jo_miller70

Minstrels - watch out for the little men playing music in your chocolate bag

Bananas - usually in pyjamas and coming down the stairs

Don’t forget to follow us and join us every Sunday at 10.15pm for more #TweetsNowtOnTV

www.twitter.com/JimboStudios

www.twitter.com/CFishTank

Enjoy, please comment or tweet us at @jimbostudios @CFishTank

Enjoy and feel free to tweet fisher @CFishTank

Thanks for watching and please comment below or follow and tweet me @jimbostudios on twitter.